Trying to understand? You won't be able to, just pack your bags and run for your life and mental health: http://www.howtospotadangerousman.blogspot.com

Afraid you're his next victim: Beware of his character assassin of you; wolves will say anything about another in order to protect their 'image'. If you are thinking about becoming the next victim, please visit: http://www.howtospotadangerousman.com

> I've caught wind of my former Abuser spreading news of me being a "psycho b*tch." (Hmm, wasn't that like his first three wives, too?) Like me, you've probably heard women say, "He wasn't mean to his ex. She's just a crazy b*tch." Please be smarter than that for your own sake.

If you catch wind his ex says he abused her, he most likely did. What reason has she to lie? A clear cut signal she is telling the truth is how he talks about her and other women in his past. This is one of the easiest ways to spot an Abuser before you get involved.

Abusers often say of their ex partner/(s)----

* "Crazy"/unstable
* A "slut"/unfaithful/b*tch/c*nt
* A compulsive liar
* She's "out to get him"
* She was "mean" from the start
* The break up is ALL her fault
* She was controlling, jealous or abusive
* She's obsessive/compulsive
* She's a "bad" person

I heard my former Abuser refer to his ex as a "c*nt." Why I thought he would never start calling me that after we broke up, I don't know. I was gullible. If he does it to her--he will do it to you.

You may be thinking, but what if his partner was a cheater? Or what if she really was controlling or abusive? How do I know he is an Abuser just because he says something negative about her?

Abusive men will use harsh language. (i.e. b*tch, slut, whore, c*nt, psycho) A mature man with a real complaint about an ex may avoid the topic entirely or he will say things affording her more respect, even if she wasn't a perfect partner. Things similar to:
* She wanted children. I didn't.
* She wanted marriage. I didn't.
* She was interested in other men, I think.
* I/she wasn't ready.

And, as a side note, you are not 'special', and his ex-meal was not a psycho bitch, didn't spit pea soup, and never handed him a bill for anything: Please see http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/special.shtml for more validation that you are, indeed, his next victim.

You will soon learn all about Psychopaths and Narcissists.
# superficial charm
# self-centered
# deceptive behavior & lying
# conning & manipulative
# little remorse or guilt
# shallow emotional response
# callous lack of empathy
# living off others & predatory
# poor self-control
# sexually promiscuous
# lack of realistic goals
# irresponsible behavior
# blaming you for their actions
# truly believes his own lies
# will turn his friends on you
# enlists others to harass you
# assassinates your character to make himself look 'good'

Abusive Behaviors (OMG! I KNOW THIS MAN!):
* Tries to control what you wear/who you talk to/where you go
* Is very sweet "sometimes"
* insults/intimidation
* Yelling, screaming, throwing tantrums, whining, pouting. (He may enjoy falling to the ground and hyperventilating for attention.)
* Withholding affection/sex to punish you.
* Makes you think you're going crazy anytime you voice concerns for how badly he treats you. (i.e. "You need to get help. You've got problems.")
* Everything in his life is more important than you and he MAKES SURE you know it every single chance he gets to choose anything over you
* Accuses your friends of being "whores" or "low-lifes"
* Accuses you of flirting/affairs
* He checks your email or caller id/interrogates your friends
* Must know where you are all the time
* Makes sure he looks totally innocent to friends/family. (He may even enjoy talking badly about you behind your back to friends/family and even co-workers.)
* Makes empty promises (i.e. "I'll get us an apartment. Just hang in there.")
* Has double standards. (i.e. "No, you cannot talk to your ex boyfriend but yes, I do call my ex girlfriends when you aren't around.")
* Makes you think it is all your fault
* (i.e. "I would treat you good if you made me FEEL like treating you good.")
* Immature. ("But I might have to sell my motorcycle if I pay rent to live with you!")
* No matter what you do, he will NEVER believe you really love him. (i.e. "I always feel like second choice to that guy you dated over a year ago even though you two don't even speak anymore!")
* No mind of his own. (i.e. "My friend told me to treat you like shit, so I did.")
* Uses you for a place to stay/money
* Hitting below the belt. (i.e. "I bet your late grandfather sure would be proud of you for telling that lie!")
* Flirting with your friends intentionally. (Usually trying to build a gap between you and your friends.)
* Staring at women in front of you then saying something like, "I just do that to make you jealous."
* Blames CONSTANTLY. (i.e. "I was late for work/failed class/fought with my family/got up late today/et cet...because of YOU.)
* Rather argue than talk
* Threatens to NOT communicate if you do not communicate according to his rules. (i.e. "Don't you dare cry or I'll leave." or "If you don't sit down right now I'm leaving.")
* Mistreats pets
* Physically abuses those weaker to him. (i.e. "I threw this woman out of the bar tonight and bounced her head off the trash can. Ha ha!")
* He's never there for you if you're sick or hurt. (i.e. "I can't believe you got sick from taking that medicine! You KNEW not to take that much!")
* Extreme insensitivity for you even under the harshest of circumstances. (i.e. "You didn't really try to kill yourself. If you really wanted to die, you'd be dead!")
* Lies and then later tells you he lied. You can't figure out what the point was
* Head games (see above)
* Never stays happy with you longer than a few days/weeks
* He expects you to read his mind. (i.e. "Well, I only left because I wanted you to chase me to show you care! I didn't really want to leave!")
* Always says you're lying (i.e. "You didn't really forget we were going to the restaurant. You're lying!" or "Your arm isn't hurting. You're faking!")
* Keeps you waiting for hours each time he says he'll be "right over" but is infuriated if you are late even ten minutes only once
* Tells you how much he loves porn after you explain how degraded you feel when men talk about porn in front of you. (nice guy, eh?)
* He tries to make you responsible for his insecurities. (i.e. "You make me so jealous by wearing that dress!")
* Constant hot/cold relationship. (i.e. Dumping you bi-weekly!)
* He either hates you deeply or loves you deeply. There is NO in between with him...ever
* He talks about you to others in front of you but pretends you aren't there. (i.e. "Yeah, we'll get married someday...if she behaves herself.")